Mood Swings, Flower Crowns, Lightbulbs and Toast
by Takhrenixe
Summary: Knuckles, Shadow and Tails witness firsthand the terror that is Sonic the Hedgehog before noon. Not to be taken seriously under ANY circumstances. Crackfic. Rated T for Sonic's deplorable language. I didn't write it, I swear! My brain made me! :6


A WARNING: Apparently Sonic curses a lot in the mornings. And I mean A LOT. o_o _What _was my brain _thinking_ when it _wrote_ this?

_**Mood Swings, Flower Crowns, Lightbulbs and Toast**_

_**a boredom-induced crackfic by Nixi**_

"Oh, for the love of Chaos! You have _got_ to be kidding me!"

"If you're so smart, why don't you fix it?"

"Are you _both_ truly so incompetent that you can't even replace a lightbulb?"

"_NO WE ARE NOT! STAY THE HELL OUT OF IT!_"

_**"SHUT UP, THE LOT OF YOU!"**_

Tails the Kitsune, Knuckles the Echidna, and Shadow the Hedgehog stared in incredulous silence at the point in the room the enraged roar had come from.

The incredulity turned to shock when they saw the culprit: Sonic the Hedgehog stood shaking with rage at the entrance to the main room of Tails' workshop. His quills stuck out in all possible directions, cobalt fur dull and ruffled, standing up in places and giving him the appearance of some sort of demonic puffskein. (A/N: couldn't resist, sorry! xD) His bloodshot vivid-green eyes fixing the three unsuspecting roomies with a glare that could have wilted every flower in Mystic Ruins, the disheveled fifteen-year-old Hedgehog was clad in vampire-bunny slippers and an extremly poofy red leisure robe with black trim. And he looked pissed.

No, not pissed, actually. More along the lines of apocalyptically infuriated.

"You three argue every single day, and I'm absolutely fucking sick of it! Chaos, Tails, you have no tolerance for anybody! Knuckles grew up on an _island_ in the middle of fucking _nowhere_; do you honestly think he has _ever_ had to change a lightbulb before? He probably didn't fucking know what electricity WAS until we met him! Give him a break! Knuckles, if Tails is bitching don't bitch back; just shut your fucking mouth and ignore it!"

Sonic's brother and best friend stood there with their mouths hanging open, and without missing a beat the Blue Blur rounded on Shadow.

"And what right do _you_ have complaining to them about it? YOU'RE THE ONE THAT BROKE THE DAMN LIGHTBULB, you should be the one fixing it! Not them! Why the _fucking _hell are you always messing with Tails and Knuckles, when they do nothing to you? They don't appreciate it, and I _**sure as hell **_don't because I have to fucking _listen _to them bitching about it, so keep your ass out of other people's business and stop being such a fucking _**prick**_!"

Sonic the Hedgehog growled in helpless frustration, trying to control the now very prominent impulse to tear them all to shreds with his bare hands.

"You three are the biggest Chaos-damned headache on the face of the fucking planet, y'know that?" he nearly shrieked at his housemates.

'He turned and stalked away, muttering dangerously under his breath as he went.

"_Every fucking day we go through this, it never fucking ends! What the FUCK do those stupid pricks think I am, a goddamn rooster? Fuck this, it's ten-thirty, for Chaos sake! I'm going back to bed, damnit! I'll just forget this happened and if any of them open their mouth to bitch about ANYTHING for the whole FUCKING rest of the day, I swear to the depths of hell I'll rip their goddamn faces off!_"

At a complete loss for words, the three anthros were frozen to the spot, quite frankly fearing for their lives.

Suddenly, the door to Tails' hangar was knocked on, and Sonic ran over to open it, revealing Cream the Rabbit and Cheese.

"Good morning, Sonic!" she squealed happily, her chao friend mimicking her in its own language. "I made this for you!"

In her small, gloved hands she held the next edition to Sonic's collection of the thousands of flower-crowns Cream had made for him over the years.

Sonic's smile nearly split his face in half.

"Aw, thanks, sugar! It's so pretty! Here, I'll wear it right away."

Before he could take the string of wild roses she'd made for him, Cheese beat him to it; chirping in his squeaky voice, the little chao picked up the crown, flew over and plopped it down on the Sonic's head, plopping _himself_ comfortably down right along with it.

"Thanks, little guy!" Sonic chuckled softly, patting the creature with one hand; he then picked Cream up and swung her around, causing both her and Cheese to shriek with laughter and giggle happily.

"I'm so glad you like it! Now I _know_ Miss Amy will wear one! Come on Cheese!"

She politely excused herself, after the green and blue chao reluctantly removed himself from what was apparently the greatest pillow ever to exist in the history of forever and the rest of time, and skipped off down the path, undoubtedly toward the pink monstrosity that was Amy Rose's house.

Waving as the girl ran out of sight, he turned back to his three housemates, who still had not moved from their spots on the floor.

"Why're you all just standing there? You guys look like you've seen a ghost," he exclaimed, seeming to have no memory of the verbal thrashing and triple-X rated death threats he'd given them not ten minutes earlier. Not surprisingly, he recieved no answer.

Shrugging it off, he wandered off into the next room over, the kitchen, deciding to make himself a chilidog for breakfast.

Knuckles watched him go, confused as hell.

"Talk about your major mood swings. He must not be a morning person."

An enormous butcher knife rocketed through the doorway and embedded itself in the wall one centimeter from Knuckles' head.

"Hey, faker, make me some toast." Shadow called, apparently over the crippling fear from earlier that had been the result of him witnessing firsthand what Sonic was like in the mornings.

The toaster left the kitchen as well, making contact with Shadow's face.

"Thanks . . ." the Ultimate Lifeform slurred, before falling over in a heap. His toast popped out of the machine a second later.

"You're welcome!" Sonic chirped as he emerged from the kitchen, holding a fresh chilidog and smiling like a two-year-old having just impressed his mother. He walked out the open hangar-door humming softly to himself.

"Nope. Guess he isn't." Tails finally replied to Knuckles' previous statement. He was still trying to get his legs to move.

A tree sailed in and hit the Fox-kit head on, knocking him out cold.

Knuckles looked at both unconscious boys, shrugged, climbed the wooden ladder they'd been using before the morning's fiasco had started, and replaced the lightbulb.

_**END**_


End file.
